


To Fall Apart

by mdr_24601



Series: Finnick and Annie [3]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Book 3: Mockingjay, District 13 (Hunger Games), F/M, Finnick Odair-centric, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The Capitol (Hunger Games)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mdr_24601/pseuds/mdr_24601
Summary: "It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."The rebellion continues as Finnick is taken to Thirteen, but focusing on the war is difficult with Annie out of reach in the Capitol.
Relationships: Annie Cresta/Finnick Odair, Johanna Mason & Finnick Odair, Katniss Everdeen & Finnick Odair, Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Series: Finnick and Annie [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735672
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

_Mentally disoriented._

That's what the ever present hospital bracelet on Finnick's wrist was constantly reminding him. He was mentally disoriented. Which was perhaps a nicer way of saying he'd gone mad. 

The doctors at the hospital said his attention problems and excessive crying were due to residual effects from the electrical shock in the arena, but that didn't feel quite right. Although not much felt right these days. 

Annie was constantly on his mind. When he was asleep, when he was eating, when the doctors and nurses at the hospital were asking him endless questions. It often took multiple tries for a question to register in his brain, and when it did, it took an especially long time to formulate a response. 

They had given him some rope. It was enough to keep his hands busy tying knots, but not enough to fashion a noose and hang himself. Finnick didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

"Good," Finnick reminded himself aloud. It was a good thing he was alive. Because if he was alive, Annie was alive, and that was good. He leaned back on his bed, satisfied. 

A nurse looked up at him. "What was that, Finnick?"

He paused. "Nothing."

His hands were busy tying knots, but his mind was elsewhere. On Annie. How long had she been in the Capitol? Was she hurt? Was she eating, sleeping? Did she miss him like he missed her?

"Finnick." A doctor had come to his bedside, and had been standing there for some amount of time. Finnick didn't know how long; time was indefinite now. "I'm going to ask you some questions. Is that okay?"

"Sure," he responded distractedly. He always said yes when they asked him this, because it was easier than fighting. 

"What's your name?"

Oh, that was easy. "Finnick Odair."

The doctor nodded and wrote something down. "Good. Do you know where you are?"

A list of locations ran through his mind. District Four. The Capitol. The arena. No, none of those were right. "Thirteen."

The doctor said something again that he didn't catch because he was busy studying his rope, which had begun to fray at the ends. Finnick wondered if he could get it replaced. That would be nice, getting a new rope. His current one was starting to fray. 

"Finnick."

Finnick glanced up. "What?"

"I was wondering if you would be open to trying something new for me." The doctor pushed up his glasses. Finnick shrugged. 

"Okay."

The doctor smiled, so his response must have been the correct one. That was good, at least. "Here's how this works. You are going to start saying a list of things you are certain about. Try starting with your name, age, and hometown, if you'd like. Ready?"

"Okay," Finnick said again. That reminded him of a game Annie played. She had told him about it before the Quarter Quell, where she stated facts to help ground herself. Annie was strong like that. She could ground herself when she was confused. 

The doctor was looking at him expectantly, and it took Finnick a moment to remember what he was supposed to be doing. "My name is Finnick Odair," he began. "I'm from District Four. I won the 65th Hunger Games. I love Annie Cresta, but she's in the Capitol..."

He frowned as he got distracted again. The doctor just nodded and wrote another thing down. 

"That's a good start, Finnick. I'm going to schedule you appointments for therapy with Doctor Aurelius. He'll visit you when you're here in the hospital, then you'll have a scheduled time to go to his office when you're discharged. Is that okay?"

They were always asking him if things were okay here. Didn't they know they could do whatever they wanted? Finnick just said, "Yeah."

The doctor nodded and must have left the room at some point, because the next time Finnick looked up, he was gone. He was left alone with only a nurse. 

As his hands worked at tying knots, Finnick thought it strange that the label of 'mad' went to Annie. She wasn't any madder than any other victor, especially not now. He wondered if she was functioning okay alone. 

Of course she was. Annie was stronger than he was. She didn't fall apart if he wasn't there to hold her together. Not like Finnick did, where he entirely crumbled when she was gone. 

The nurse asked him something and he must have responded because she didn't repeat the question. She too left the room, leaving Finnick alone with his rope. 

His brain grew foggy and his eyes fluttered shut as he fell back asleep. 

* * *

Some amount of time later, someone came in to collect him from the hospital, saying there was a mandatory assembly and they all had to attend. He and a few other patients were led by Katniss' mother to a hall of some sort. People in gray jumpsuits were gathered, while President Coin, Thirteen's leader, stood at the front. 

Finnick couldn't see a single familiar face. He gazed around as his fingers worked steadily. Days of tying knots had given his fingers callouses, but he didn't care. 

"Finnick!" Katniss approached him, looking somewhat tired but otherwise okay. She had lost Peeta, too, like he'd lost Annie. "How are you doing?"

He gripped her hand, relieved that he wasn't alone. "Katniss. Why are we meeting here?"

"I told Coin I'd be her Mockingjay. But I made her promise to give the other tributes immunity if the rebels won. In public, so there are plenty of witnesses," Katniss explained. 

Finnick wasn't sure he had gotten all of that, but he understood enough. Immunity for the tributes. That was good. "Oh. Good. Because I worry about that with Annie. That she'll say something that could be construed as traitorous without knowing it."

"Don't worry, I took care of it." Katniss squeezed his hand, then walked off to do something else. 

So Annie would get immunity. And Johanna and Peeta. That was a good thing. 

Katniss made her way back to him so they could listen to Coin talk. Finnick was focused on a particularly difficult knot, weaving and twisting the rope until he could pull it tight to form the knot. 

Coin said something, possibly what Katniss had just told him minutes before. The crowd around him murmured with protest. People turned heads to face them, although Finnick knew they were probably looking at Katniss, because he had heard talk that he'd lost it and couldn't keep a conversation going. Which may have been true, but he wasn't entirely sure.

"But in return for this unprecedented request, Soldier Everdeen has promised to devote herself to our cause. It follows that any deviance from her mission, in either motive or deed, will be viewed as a break in this agreement. The immunity would be terminated and the fate of the four victors determined by the law of District Thirteen. As would her own. Thank you." 

Next to him, Katniss shifted uncomfortably. It took Finnick a moment to understand what Coin was talking about, but he got there eventually. 

Annie's fate rested on Katniss' shoulders. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: dialogue from scenes with Katniss in them was taken directly from Mockingjay and doesn't belong to me.
> 
> Here is the first part of book three! This will be the last book of this series and likely shorter than the other two, although I don't have a specific length in mind yet.


	2. Chapter 2

Finnick spent most of his time in the hospital, talking to doctors or doing therapy appointments. However, he was high status enough to help out with propos, even despite his supposed concentration problems. 

Katniss looked terrifying in her Mockingjay outfit. He may have had problems following conversation, but he knew how to talk about clothes. He had plenty of experience with that. 

"They'll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you," he said. Katniss smiled slightly. 

When it was time to begin filming, Katniss was awkward. "People of Panem, we fight, we dare, we end our hunger for justice!"

Her words sounded scripted and fake. She may have been the Mockingjay, but Katniss was no actor. 

"And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies."

Heads turned as Haymitch walked in, looking tired and sunken. They gathered around the table on Command, per his request. 

Finnick zoned out for a while during Haymitch's speech, but he got the end. "I want everyone to think of one incident where Katniss Everdeen genuinely moved you. Not where you were jealous of her hairstyle, or her dress went up in flames, or she made a halfway decent shot with an arrow. Not where Peeta was making you like her. I want to hear one moment where _she_ made you feel something real."

Finnick could think of moments. When she sobbed over Peeta's body, thinking he was dead. Or when she chased after her sister during the jabberjay attack. 

People thought of events quickly. When she volunteered for her sister, when she drugged Peeta to get his medicine, when she sang the song when the little girl died. He missed some others, but he did hear one about how she carried Mags, and Finnick couldn't help but agree. 

"So, the question is, what do all of these have in common?" Haymitch asked. 

Somebody said something else, and Beetee spoke up. "Unscripted, yes! So we should just leave you alone, right?"

A moment passed before Haymitch said, "That's _exactly_ what I'm suggesting. Put her out in the field and just keep the cameras rolling."

After some debate, it was decided that Katniss would go to Eight to film a propo. Finnick's spirits lifted. If he could convince them to let him come, he could do something useful instead of just sit around in a hospital bed and cry. 

* * *

"Katniss, they won't let me go!" Finnick ran to Katniss as she was about to board the hovercraft for Eight. "I told them I'm fine, but they won't even let me ride in the hovercraft!" 

His fingers worked anxiously, twisting and knotting his rope. Katniss raised her eyebrows slightly then smacked her forehead. 

"Oh, I forgot. It's this stupid concussion. I was supposed to tell you to report to Beetee in Special Weaponry. He's designed a new trident for you."

Finnick's hands paused their work on the rope. "Really? What's it do?"

"I don't know, but if it's anything like my bow and arrows, you're going to love it," Katniss said reassuringly. "You'll need to train with it, though."

The mission in Eight forgotten, he said, "Right. Of course. I guess I better get down there." 

"Finnick?" Katniss asked. "Maybe some pants?"

Finnick looked down at his bare legs and grinned. Laughing, he pulled off his hospital gown. "Why? Do you find this," he struck a pose, "distracting?"

Katniss laughed, a real laugh. "I'm only human, Odair."

She walked into the hovercraft as the door closed behind her. Finnick got changed to meet Beetee, genuine excitement and anticipation thrumming in his veins. It had been so long since he'd felt useful. If Thirteen was giving him a trident, that surely meant they wanted him to use it. After all, they never liked wasting resources. 

Finnick walked to Special Weaponry and greeted Beetee. 

"Hello, Finnick," Beetee said. "Did Katniss send you?"

"Yes," he responded. "She said you had a trident for me."

Beetee stood up. "I do. Follow me."

Finnick followed him. He liked Beetee because he never minded that Finnick had to hear something several times for it to register, or that he sometimes forgot things. Everyone else was either constantly asking if he was okay or treating him like a child, but Beetee treated him just as he always had. 

"Here it is." Beetee took a trident off the shelf. 

The trident was sleek and black. It was heavier and felt different than the tridents at home, but those were mostly fishing tridents, while this was one designed for combat. Despite the differences, Finnick felt better holding something so familiar in his hands. 

Beetee explained the special features, including a button that brings the trident back to a holster on his uniform. 

"It's incredible," Finnick breathed, spinning the trident in his hands. "Thank you."

Beetee smiled modestly. "It was no problem. You can come down here and train any time you'd like, as long as someone is in here to supervise."

Even in the hospital, Finnick knew Thirteen followed a strict schedule, so he wasn't certain that was true. Still, he appreciated the offer. 

"Thanks," Finnick said again, feeling some life returning to him. "I really appreciate it."

And he meant it.

* * *

Katniss joined him in the hospital after the propo in Eight. Finnick hadn't seen it yet, but he knew there had been a bombing. When dinner came, he took his tray to Katniss' bedside. 

The propo aired, and Finnick watched as bombs fell and the hospital caught fire. Beside him, Katniss looked away, burying her face into a pillow. 

"People should know that happened," he said when it was over. "And now they do."

"Let's turn it off, Finnick before they run it again," Katniss said, clearly agitated. Before he could grab the remote, Katniss said, "Wait!"

A Capitol broadcast appeared on the screen. It was Caesar Flickerman's show, and his guest was none other than Peeta Mellark. 

Peeta's transformation had been drastic. He looked to have lost weight, his hands developed a tremor, and dark circles lined his eyes. Tears welled up in Katniss' eyes. 

Finnick's fingers found his rope again. If this was what Peeta looked like, what condition was Annie in? Was she hurt, starving, tired? Would she appear on the show, too? Panic rose in his chest as he frantically tied knot after knot. 

"Oh, Peeta..." Katniss whispered from beside him. 

"They're using her, obviously," Peeta was saying on screen. "To whip up the rebels. I doubt she even really knows what's going on in the war. What's at stake."

Peeta continued talking, but all Finnick could think about was Annie. Was she standing off camera, trembling, with a gun to her head, to make Peeta say those things? Or was she already too far gone, broken under torture?

He turned the television off as soon as the broadcast was over. Finnick could hear people approaching. Frantically, he gripped Katniss by the arm. "We didn't see it."

"What?"

"We didn't see Peeta," he said. "Only the propo on Eight. Then we turned the set off because the images upset you. Got it?" Katniss nodded. "Finish your dinner."

When Plutarch and Fulvia entered a moment later, Finnick did most of the talking, feeling something like his old self again. 

"We saw the propo on Eight," he said. "Congratulations, it was very powerful. And Gale came across so well on camera." Katniss nodded in agreement. 

Plutarch and Fulvia nodded in thanks, but still looked tense. Katniss swallowed her food and said, "We had to turn it off after. Because it was so powerful."

They looked relieved. "I'm glad you thought so," Plutarch said, smiling. "We'll go so you can finish your dinner."

Katniss breathed a sigh of relief when they left, but Finnick's mind went to Annie again. The rest of his dinner went untouched as his hands fiddled with his rope. Katniss didn't try to talk to him again. Or, if she did, he didn't notice. 

He consoled himself with the likely fact that Annie wouldn't be dead, because killing her would mean destroying any leverage Snow had against him. 

So Annie must still be alive. And based on what they had done to Peeta, Finnick wasn't so sure that was a good thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: dialogue from scenes with Katniss in them was taken directly from Mockingjay and doesn't belong to me.


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, Finnick, whenever you're ready." Plutarch poised the camera for filming. 

Finnick took a deep breath. The _We Remember_ propos were a good idea, and he was good at them, or so Plutarch said. But today was different, because he would be talking about Mags. 

"Mags was more than a mentor to me," he began slowly. "She was more than a mentor to a lot of us, actually. She had just always been around, as long as I could remember. She won the Games really early on, and she was always there to greet the new victors. Help us out a little."

Finnick paused. Even weeks after the Quell, weeks after her death, it was hard to think of her without tearing up. He still remembered the way she walked into that fog, fearlessly and unflinchingly. He could see her body seize and spasm in pain, until she went still. 

He could still see it clearly because he dreamed of it every night. 

He started again. "Mags was always reliable. Ask any victor, they'll all be able to talk about a situation when she was there for them. She was the glue that held us together. And we won't forget her."

Plutarch dabbed at his eyes. Stopping the filming, he yelled, "Cut! That was good, Finnick. Really good. Excellent propo."

Finnick just smiled tightly. He didn't like the idea of Mags' eulogy being used for the cameras, but similarly to the Capitol, he had little control here. In the Capitol, a nice smile and wandering hands could get him what he wanted, but not here. Not in Thirteen. 

"You're dismissed, Finnick," Fulvia Cardew said, not looking up from the computer screen where she had begun to edit. 

Finnick nodded and left Command. He wasn't quite sure where to go. The hospital had finally discharged him, claiming he was well enough for his own quarters if he came in for daily psychological evaluations. Still, it was only a matter of time before he ended up back in there after a bad nightmare or panic attack. 

He chose to go to his quarters. There was a schedule on his arm that he didn't follow. It was no big deal, really. He may have been released from the hospital, but he was still officially mentally disoriented. Nobody expected him to go anywhere. 

The living quarters in Thirteen were small and compact. His room consisted of a small bed, table, and bathroom off to the side. Finnick didn't spend much time there anyway, so it hardly mattered. 

Sitting down, he took his rope out of his pocket and began to fiddle with it. If there was one thing on his schedule that he followed, it was his therapy appointments. He had no hope of being useful again unless he got over his mental issues. 

Restless, Finnick's fingers worked adeptly, twisting and pulling the rope to tie knot after knot. 

* * *

"Come on in, Finnick," Doctor Aurelius called from inside his office. Finnick stepped in. "How are you today?" the doctor asked. 

"Fine," Finnick replied, as he did every day. His fingers hadn't let go of the rope. 

"I see you filmed a propo this morning," Doctor Aurelius said conversationally. "How do you think that went?"

"Good," Finnick said. "They say I'm good on camera." But that was nothing new. 

Doctor Aurelius nodded. "Yes, that doesn't surprise me. You talked about Mags, correct?" At Finnick's nod of confirmation, he asked, "And what did you say?"

"The truth," Finnick shrugged. "That she was more than a mentor to all of us and that she held us all together."

He didn't mention the nightmares or the way he still sometimes heard her voice. 

The doctor nodded, wrote something down, then looked up again. "You've made progress, Finnick. Have you been having concentration problems recently?"

Finnick paused. If he said yes, he'd never be able to do anything useful. If he said no, Doctor Aurelius would know he was lying. He settled for, "A little bit. Sometimes I miss parts of conversations, but it's gotten better."

"Gotten better, that's a good sign. And the rope is still working okay?"

"Yes," Finnick replied somewhat distantly. The doctor nodded again. 

"Good. Now, I want you to tell me about Annie. Whatever comes to mind."

Flashes of her screams went through Finnick's mind. Her face, contorted in pain, after they pulled her from the arena. Her trembling body after she woke up screaming from a nightmare. 

Her beautiful smile that could light up a room. Her hands, holding his, anchoring him to safety. Her eyes, bright and clear and happy. 

"Annie is my entire life," Finnick began slowly. "And I don't know how to live without her. Nothing I say could possibly do her justice. She's one of those people that you just can't describe. You have to meet her to understand."

"You love her a lot," Doctor Aurelius mused. "Possibly more than you love yourself?"

Finnick nodded. "Yes," he responded immediately. "I love her more than I've ever loved anything."

The doctor just nodded and smiled softly. "I see. She gave you something to fight for, back home?"

Finnick nodded. He'd never stop fighting for her. 

"I know this isn't District Four," Doctor Aurelius said. "But don't you think you should be fighting for her here, as well? Live for her."

"Annie would, if she were in my position," Finnick said. "She'd be strong and do great things."

"You can do the same, Finnick," the doctor said. "Stay strong for Annie, as she would for you."

* * *

Although Finnick didn't adhere to most of Thirteen's scheduled activities, he never missed the meetings in Command. Those were important, a chance to do something. Even if it was only sitting around and listening to people talk. 

"What's going on?" Katniss asked as soon as she walked in Command. "Aren't we seeing the Twelve propos?"

"Oh, no," Plutarch said. "I don't know exactly what footage Beetee plans to use."

"Beetee thinks he's found a way to break into the feed nationwide," Finnick explained. "So that our propos will air in the Capitol, too. He's down working on it in Special Defense now. There's live programming tonight. Snow's making an appearance or something. I think it's starting."

The program turned on, showing the snake like eyes of President Snow. The camera moved to show Peeta, who looked considerably worse. Beside him, Katniss gasped audibly. 

"He's worse," she said, devastation prominent in her voice. Finnick grabbed her hand, and Katniss grasped back tightly. 

As Peeta talked about the damage to the districts, Finnick thought of Annie, as he always did when a Capitol broadcast aired. Grabbing Katniss' hand was as much an anchor for himself as it was for her. He needed to stay present for this. 

All of a sudden, the propo Katniss filmed in Twelve was on the screen. Finnick tried not to flinch back at the sudden movement. 

"He did it!" Plutarch exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "Beetee broke in!"

The room buzzed for a moment before Peeta returned, trying to continue his speech. A moment later, a clip of himself talking about Rue appeared onscreen. 

Tense anticipation lingered in the room as the Capitol and Thirteen fought for control of the broadcast. Five to ten second clips of their propos were scattered across the Capitol's broadcast, and the other people in the room were delighted. 

Finnick sat still, holding Katniss' hand. His hands itched for his rope, but he didn't get it out. When Snow asked Peeta for any parting words for Katniss, she paled. 

"Katniss," Peeta said as he grimaced, as though he was working through incredible pain. "How do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe. Not in the Capitol. Not in the districts. And you...in Thirteen..."

Peeta gasped sharply as if he were drowning, fighting for control. Through tremendous effort, he gasped out, "Dead by morning!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: dialogue from scenes with Katniss in them was taken directly from Mockingjay and doesn't belong to me.


	4. Chapter 4

Everybody around him had long since fallen asleep, but Finnick hadn't. Couldn't. He was on the floor, hunched over, his hands moving quickly to repeatedly tie and untie knots. 

It had been three days since Peeta's warning. Three days of being underground, hearing bombs fall and the bunker shake. Finnick wasn't paying much attention to anyone or anything around him. It was just him in his compartment, with his rope. 

Katniss joined him eventually, looking shaken and pale. "Hi," she said softly. 

"Hey," he replied. She sat down next to him. 

Katniss looked as though she wanted to say something. Moments later, she did. "I know how Snow's using Peeta. He's not hurting him to punish him. He's hurting him to punish me."

Finnick only nodded, still focused on his rope. That news was nothing new or surprising, at least, not to him. It was how he'd lived for years. But for Katniss, only seventeen and a recent victor, the burden of having someone else's well-being depend on your compliance was a new one. 

Katniss paused, seemingly considering this herself. "That's what they're doing to you with Annie, isn't it?"

"Well, they didn't arrest her because they thought she'd be a wealth of rebel information," Finnick said dryly. "They know I'd never risk telling her anything like that. For her own protection." 

And that was true. Finnick could only hope that they hadn't harmed her. Snow knew that just having Annie in the Capitol was enough to break him. If they were fortunate, the president would have instructed his Peacekeepers to not waste the time. 

"Oh, Finnick. I'm so sorry," Katniss said. 

Finnick shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. That I didn't warn you somehow."

A long pause went by before Katniss said, "You did warn me, though. On the hovercraft. Only when you said they'd use Peeta against me, I thought you meant like bait. To lure me into the Capitol somehow."

"I shouldn't have even said that," Finnick said anxiously. He tied another knot. "It was too late for it to be of any help to you. Since I hadn't warned you before the Quarter Quell, I should've shut up about how Snow operates."

He pulled on the rope again, untying the knot. "It's just that I didn't understand when I met you. After your first Games, I thought the whole romance was an act on your part. We all expected you'd continue that strategy. But it wasn't until Peeta hit the force field and nearly died that I—"

"That you what?" Katniss prompted. 

"That I knew I'd misjudged you. That you do love him. I'm not saying in what way. Maybe you don't know yourself." His voice became gentler. "But anyone paying attention could see how much you cared for him."

Katniss leaned back and sighed, lost in her thoughts. They sat in a comfortable silence, him tying knots and her thinking. Eventually, she asked, "How do you bear it?"

Finnick wanted to laugh. _Bear it._ Thatwas a dramatic overstatement. "I don't, Katniss! Obviously, I don't. I drag myself out of nightmares each morning and find there's no relief in waking."

Katniss looked at him intently. His fingers working on the rope mindlessly, he continued. "Better not to give in to it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."

And he should know. Taking a deep breath, he said, "The more you can distract yourself, the better. First thing tomorrow, we'll get you your own rope. Until then, take mine."

He handed her his rope, which had become frayed and dirty. Still, Katniss accepted it gratefully. As wary as Finnick was about giving up his rope, he had a feeling Katniss needed it more at the moment. 

Katniss returned to her area, leaving Finnick alone again, waiting for the announcement that they could leave the bunker.

* * *

As soon as everyone left the bunker, Coin wasted no time on getting back to work. Finnick was ushered immediately into a small meeting room, not dissimilar to Command. 

"We need all four of you suited up and above ground," Coin said. "You have two hours to get footage showing the damage from the bombing, establish that Thirteen's military unit remains not only functional but dominant, and most important, that the Mockingjay is still alive. Any questions?"

"Can we have a coffee?" Finnick asked. Surprisingly, hot cups of coffee were handed out. Finnick reached instinctively for the sugar bowl. "Want a sugar cube?" he asked Katniss seductively, the situation reminiscent of how they met. Katniss smiled slightly. Using his normal voice, he said, "Here, it improves the taste."

He could hear Annie teasing him about the sugar in his head. She always said that he had a sugar addiction, but the bitterness of coffee could only be subdued by the sweetness of sugar. 

Within the next twenty minutes, everyone had gotten dressed and outside. They decided to film at the entrance of the old Justice Building. The group slowed down upon approaching the crater, and it took Finnick a moment to understand why. 

His breath hitched in his throat. Pink and red roses littered the ground. Meant for a pair of lovers.

"Don't touch them!" Katniss yelled. "They're for me!"

The familiar, cloying scent worked its way into Finnick's nostrils and his mind. His fingers itched for his rope, but he hadn't seen it since he'd given it to Katniss earlier. 

The saccharine smell, which he so heavily associated with the Capitol, was beginning to get to him. He wanted to run, but he couldn't. 

The roses seemed to be having a similar affect on Katniss, for she was having trouble filming the propo. He gave her a shaky thumbs up, though he was not sure it helped. 

"Thirteen's alive and well and so am—" Katniss' voice broke at the end. She was unable to finish the line, and Finnick knew why. The first part was true, and Katniss was alive, but _well_ was pushing it. 

They pushed her to keep trying, but Katniss panicked.

"What's wrong with her?" Plutarch asked. 

"She's figured out how Snow's using Peeta," Finnick responded. 

As several people rushed to comfort Katniss, Finnick's breathing grew labored. All he could see, smell, were the roses. He recalled sinking to the ground, curling in on himself, before slipping in to unconsciousness.

* * *

Finnick woke blearily to Katniss shaking him awake. 

"Finnick," she whispered urgently. "They're sending a team to the Capitol to rescue Peeta and Annie."

At that news, he sat up quickly, his mind turning from groggy to alert in a matter of seconds. "What? When?"

"Today," Katniss replied, looking hopeful but conflicted. "But Gale's on the team. And if it doesn't work..."

She didn't need to finish her sentence. "Don't you see, Katniss, this will decide things," he said excitedly. "One way or the other. By the end of the day, they'll either be dead or with us. It's...it's more than we could have hoped for!" 

Moments later, Haymitch opened the curtain, saying he wanted to film something. "If we can get it up in the next few hours, Beetee can air it leading up to the rescue, and maybe keep the Capitol's attention elsewhere."

"Yes, a distraction," said Finnick. "A decoy of sorts."

"What we really need is something so riveting that even President Snow wouldn't be able to tear himself away. Got anything like that?"

Finnick went still. Something riveting. He had hundreds of riveting secrets accumulated over the years, from clients who'd bought him. But telling the secrets would mean telling all of Panem what Snow did to him and other victors, and the thought made his stomach churn. 

Katniss did her own propo while Finnick contemplated. He sat still until Plutarch called him and Haymitch over. 

"We need something that will impact Snow directly," Plutarch said. "Finnick, I want you to talk about what Snow did to you. You've got to have some stories from that."

Before Finnick could respond, Haymitch jumped in. "No! Absolutely not. Plutarch, this kid's been through enough. He doesn't need his trauma aired on live television for the entire country to see!"

"It's Finnick's choice, Haymitch," Plutarch replied shortly. "It will give us a bigger chance of getting Annie back. What do you say, Finnick?"

He paused for a moment. "I'll do it."

Haymitch grumbled and Plutarch smiled as Finnick sat down in front of the camera. 

"You don't have to do this," Haymitch told him. But Finnick's mind was made up. 

"Yes, I do. If it will help her."

He took a deep breath, then the camera was rolling. Wasting no time, he started talking. "President Snow used to...sell me...my body, that is." His words were cold and detached. "I wasn't the only one. If a victor is considered desirable, the president gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them for an exorbitant amount of money. If you refuse, he kills someone you love. So you do it."

Finnick paused and thought of his parents, who had died when he was still a teenager. Because he had initially refused Snow's orders to become a prostitute. 

"I wasn't the only one, but I was the most popular. And perhaps the most defenseless, because the people I loved were so defenseless. To make themselves feel better, my patrons would make presents of money or jewelry, but I found a much more valuable form of payment."

The room was silent, people hanging on to his every word. Finnick wondered briefly what his clients in the Capitol were thinking, what his siblings back home were thinking, of him right now. 

"Secrets," he said after a pause. "And this is where you're going to want to stay tuned, President Snow, because so very many of them were about you. But let's begin with some of the others."

Finnick talked about the lives of the Capitol elite, recounting years of marriage affairs, secret children; endless amounts of betrayals and greed and blood-lust. It was liberating, in a way, to let go of all the secrets after nearly seven years. 

"And now, onto our good President Coriolanus Snow," Finnick said. "Such a young man when he rose to power. Such a clever one to keep it. How, you must ask yourself, did he do it? One word. That's all you really need to know. _Poison._ " 

A few people in the room gasped, and Finnick could assume that others watching at home reacted in a similar fashion. People were growing increasingly restless as he narrated Snow's rise to power and how he killed people for his own benefit. 

It was a wonderful way to erase any of Snow's credibility, but Finnick wasn't doing it for that reason. He was doing it for Annie. 

He finished talking, but the cameras kept rolling, so he said, "Cut."

People milled around the camera to edit the footage, and Plutarch led him away. Finnick wasn't paying much attention, as he was distracted. 

"Thank you for doing that," Plutarch said. "It couldn't have been easy."

"Are you getting Annie out?" Finnick asked, disregarding his thanks. 

Plutarch nodded. "As soon as possible. Your propo helped with that."

As soon as possible. So all that was left to do now was wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: dialogue from scenes with Katniss in them was taken directly from Mockingjay and doesn't belong to me.
> 
> I don't think this story is going to be very long since we're around the halfway point already.


	5. Chapter 5

Finnick wasn't sure how long he and Katniss waited for the rescue team to return from the Capitol. All he could think about was Annie, and how close he was to seeing her, holding her, again. 

"Did you love Annie right away, Finnick?" Katniss asked.

Finnick paused, his hands stopping the work on his rope. "No. She crept up on me."

He could recall hours he and Annie had spent on the beach, as friends. He could still remember the day he realized that he loved her as more than that. Their first kiss, when they moved in together. Those moments were ingrained into his brain. It was like he carried a little piece of Annie in his heart. No matter what Snow did to them, he would always have that. 

They waited another eternity before Haymitch stepped into the room. "They're back. We're wanted in the hospital. That's all I know."

_Annie_. 

Finnick wanted to run but he couldn't force his legs to move. He stood there, almost frozen, until Katniss gently took his arm and led him to the hospital, leaving his rope behind. 

He heard her before he saw her. A desperate cry of, "Finnick!" 

His lips mouthed her name several times before anything came out. And then she was in front of him, her dark hair tousled and wearing only a sheet, but looking otherwise healthy. 

"Finnick!" Annie screamed again, but it wasn't like the jabberjays, because she was screaming in joy and so was he. 

Then, they were the only things that existed in this world. He collided with Annie and they slammed against a wall, hands wandering, aching to touch each other again. They were one being, unable to be torn apart. 

It was only Finnick and Annie and nothing else. 

"Finnick," Annie said again, softer this time. 

"Annie," Finnick said breathlessly, finding words again. It felt incredible to say her name again. "I love you. You're safe here, it's okay, I love you." The words spilled out of him, words he'd been holding on to since his arrival to Thirteen. 

"I love you." She pulled him in for a kiss. Her lips tasted of salt and Finnick was reminded of the sea, of home. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," he said, unable to express the loneliness that had consumed him while she'd been gone. But he didn't need to explain. She understood. 

"Excuse me." A nurse cleared her throat awkwardly. "We need to do Miss Cresta's medical examination."

Annie gazed at Finnick, their hands still intertwined. "Okay. But he stays."

The nurse looked somewhat affronted. "Miss Cresta, this kind of thing is traditionally done alone..."

"He stays with me," Annie replied forcefully. "Or I don't do the examination."

The nurse's gaze softened. "Alright. Let's get you to a bed, then."

Finnick and Annie were led to a bed, where Annie laid down. He held her hand the entire time they examined her, squeezing tighter when they drew blood. 

"Good news," the nurse said, once the examination was done. "Miss Cresta is slightly malnourished, but there are no other physical problems detected. You're free to go, as long as you come back for a psychological assessment first thing tomorrow."

"Sure," Annie said, though her attention was focused on him. "Let's go, Finn."

They walked, attached at the hip, back to his bedroom. Finnick, as usual, disregarded his official schedule. He would be content just spending the next month alone with Annie. "Sorry it's small, it's only meant for one person."

Annie glanced around at the compact room with the single bed. "No, it's perfect."

Finnick grinned as he hugged Annie close. "It's not home, but it'll do."

"Any place is home if you're there," she responded automatically. Finnick buried his face in her hair and something between a laugh and a cry escaped his lips. 

"I love you." That was all he could say, all he could think. 

"I know," Annie smiled lightly. "In the Capitol, they tried to make me doubt our love. They didn't do a very good job. Kept showing me these clips of you with other women, saying you'd been unfaithful and couldn't really love me."

Finnick pulled back as though he'd been injured. "You know that's not true."

"I know. They don't know you like I do. I can tell when you're performing. Anyway, they gave up after a while. I don't think they cared about me much."

Finnick sat down on the bed. "I'm glad they didn't hurt you."

Annie joined him, grabbing his hand again. "I'm glad it's almost over."

* * *

Finnick and Annie spent the next few days alone in their compartment. The bed was small and didn't fit quite right, but Annie was there, so it was okay. 

"I've got to go to therapy today," Annie said as they got dressed one morning. 

"Want me to come?" he asked, buttoning his shirt. "I'm sure they wouldn't care."

"No," she replied casually. "I want to go on my own. And then you can visit Johanna."

Finnick paused. Johanna had gotten it a lot rougher than Annie, and was still in the hospital. With Annie's return, he hadn't gotten the chance to visit her, although he'd wanted to.

"I think she'd want to see a familiar face," Annie said. "And we kept each other sane back there."

Finnick couldn't help but feel grateful towards Johanna for helping Annie in the Capitol. "Yeah. I'll visit her while you're at therapy."

Annie smiled. "Good. Maybe after, we can talk to President Coin about getting a couple's compartment."

"Why, you don't like being so close to me?" he asked teasingly. Annie's face remained completely serious. 

"No, you take all the blankets."

They laughed and said goodbye before Annie left for therapy. Finnick went to the hospital to visit Johanna. Stepping inside her room, he got a good look at how she'd changed. 

Her head was shaved, and covered in scars. She had lost a considerable amount of weight, making her look sallow and emaciated. Bruises and small cuts littered her skin. Finnick winced, thinking of what they had done to her. 

"Are you going to stand there and gawk, Odair, or are you gonna come in?" Johanna asked from her place on the bed. She adjusted the drip of morphling making its way into her bloodstream. 

"It's good to see you, Johanna," he said, because he didn't know what else to say. _Sorry you got tortured_ wasn't exactly the best way to begin a conversation. 

"No, it isn't, I look like shit," Johanna replied bluntly. "But it's good to see you're still alive."

Finnick laughed softly and nodded. "I'm sorry, about..." _About leaving you behind. About not rescuing you sooner._

Johanna waved her hand dismissively. "Whatever. The doctors here just keep telling me I'm completely safe, which we both know is bullshit."

"Yeah," Finnick agreed, a smile tugging at his lips because he knew they were alright. "But everybody here has spent their whole lives down here. What do they know about being unsafe?"

Johanna just nodded at that. "Did you hear what they did to Mellark?"

Finnick's eyebrows furrowed. "No. What happened?"

Johanna paused for a moment as her eyes went cloudy, similar to Annie's. "Tracker jacker venom. Made him think Katniss is a mutt."

His stomach churned. He couldn't imagine reuniting with Annie only to find that she hated him. "That's horrible. How's Katniss?"

"I don't know," Johanna said snappishly. "Peeta attacked her and they probably sent her to the hospital, but I haven't seen her."

Finnick nodded. A long silence stretched between them before he said, "I've got to get back to Annie."

"Sure," Johanna nodded. "And, hey, don't be a stranger, Finnick."

Finnick smiled as he walked to the doorway. "I'll see you soon, Johanna."

* * *

Finnick and Annie did eventually ask Coin for a bigger compartment, once the single bed had begun to get on their nerves. 

"Double compartments are only for married couples," Coin had said icily when they'd asked. 

Finnick and Annie exchanged glances. "Then let's get married."

Plutarch, who was standing behind Coin, nearly jumped with excitement. Coin only nodded. 

"I'll talk to someone about getting the forms sorted so you can sign the papers."

Plutarch frowned. "Sign the papers? This is a wedding! There should be dancing and cake and nice clothes!"

"All of which we cannot provide," Coin responded. 

Finnick and Annie stepped back as they watched Coin and Plutarch engage in an animated debate about how to proceed with the wedding. 

"You really meant it?" Annie asked quietly.

"Of course," Finnick said confidently. "I wanted to marry you before the Quell and I haven't stopped wanting to marry you. It's not Four, but it could still work."

Annie beamed, looking radiant. "I love you. And I still want to marry you, too."

Finnick wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a side hug. "Who do you think will win the argument?"

"Not sure," Annie said airily. A moment later, Coin and Plutarch turned to them. 

"We've decided," Coin began, "that you two can have your wedding with cake and clothes and dancing, as long as you agree to let us film it as a propo."

"It'll be like a light in the darkness," Plutarch interjected. "Two people beating the odds and ending up together despite what Snow wanted for you."

Finnick wasn't sure how he felt about making their wedding about publicity, but it was undeniable that broadcasting it for Snow to see that he hadn't broken them was appealing. He turned to Annie, whose nose was scrunched slightly in concentration. "I'm okay with it as long as you are," he said. 

"Okay," Annie agreed after a pause. Her smile grew wider. "We'll do it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: dialogue from scenes with Katniss in them was taken directly from Mockingjay and doesn't belong to me.


	6. Chapter 6

"I can't believe we're finally getting married," Annie sighed happily. They were laying on their bed, Finnick's arm around her and his other hand resting on her chest, feeling the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. 

"I know," Finnick smiled. "But it feels like we've been together forever."

Annie laughed softly. "It's been about six years now, I think."

"A lot has changed. I wasn't sure we'd make it," he said honestly. Annie just sighed again. 

"Neither was I, but I'm glad we did."

They sat in comfortable silence, just in each others' arms. There wasn't much need for words with them anymore, Finnick had realized. Just being around each other was enough. 

"I wonder if they've got the wedding net," Finnick spoke up a moment later. It was a wedding tradition in Four for the bride and groom to be draped in a net during their vows. 

"Or the saltwater," Annie said. She was referring to the part right before the kiss where they touched each others' lips with saltwater from the ocean. 

"Do they even have an ocean around here?" Finnick asked. "Or are we just going to use salt mixed with water?"

Annie laughed at the thought. "I don't even care. I just want to marry you."

"When all of this is over and we get back to Four," Finnick began, "we'll have a proper ceremony. On the beach, with real saltwater."

"Good," she replied. "Because I don't think anyone in Thirteen has ever seen a real wedding. I'm not sure they know how to do it."

"Probably not," Finnick laughed. "But the people from Twelve probably do, even if their weddings are different than ours."

Annie laughed softly. She shifted in the bed so her arms could wrap around him. Finnick smiled as she buried her face in his chest and breathed deeply. He pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of her head. They sat like that for minutes, but they would have been happy like that for hours. 

"Finn?"

Finnick let out a small hum in response. 

"When we get married, which last name do we take?" she asked. Finnick paused. 

"I'm not really sure," he said slowly. "Maybe I'll be Finnick Cresta." He tried the name out, testing its weight on his tongue. 

Annie considered that but shook her head. "No, you'll always be Finnick Odair. I want your last name. I haven't been Annie Cresta in a long time."

"Annie Odair," Finnick said softly. The name made his heart accelerate with excitement. "It fits."

"When we go to sleep tomorrow," Annie said, "we'll be Finnick and Annie Odair."

Finnick smiled softly. "I love you," he said, because it was all he could think to say. Because there were no words to describe the happiness that bloomed in his chest. 

"I love you, too."

Holding each other close, as if they were afraid that the other one would drift away if they let go, Finnick and Annie fell asleep. 

* * *

Finnick sat through prep the next morning unable to contain his excitement. He had been given an old suit of Peeta's that had been tailored to fit him. Annie had been given one of Katniss' old dresses, but he hadn't seen it yet. 

The clothes didn't matter much to him, anyway. They could be wearing the standard gray Thirteen jumpsuits, and Annie would still look radiant. 

He took his place at the altar a few minutes later. The hall was decorated sparsely, but Finnick didn't mind. There was a net and salt water, not from the ocean, but it was close enough. His body tensed in anticipation as the music began, and Annie began her walk down the aisle. 

Annie was like a beacon of light in the dim District Thirteen. She was dressed in a silky green dress that made her eyes stand out. But perhaps the most beautiful thing was her excited smile that lit up the room. Finnick was certain that he was sporting one to match. 

His hand found hers as soon as Annie arrived at the altar. Dalton, from District Ten, read the official wedding vows, but Finnick was hardly paying attention. He and Annie just looked at each other, and Finnick squeezed her hand gently. 

When it was time to read vows, a net of woven grass was draped over their shoulders, knotting them together. Finnick's vows were first. 

"Annie Cresta," he began softly. "Nothing I say could ever do justice to who you are. You're the person who reminds me every day why I'm alive, why I'm happy. You make my life worth living, and I wouldn't be here today if not for you. My heart will always beat for you. And no matter what happens to us or where we end up, know that I will always be with you."

They were short, but he knew Annie had gotten the message. Her eyes were misty as she began. "Finnick Odair. You are my anchor, the person who I can turn to when I'm lost. And you have improved my life in so many ways. You're the reason I wake up in the morning and the reason I can go to sleep knowing that I'm safe and loved. You brought light into my life and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

The audience clapped as he dipped his fingers in the salt water and softly brushed them against Annie's lips, and she did the same for him. 

When they leaned in for the kiss, she tasted like home and happiness and love. Finnick felt tears prick at his eyes and readily let them fall, because it was okay, and he was safe to cry here. They kissed again, and it was salty from both the salt water and their tears. 

"I love you," Finnick whispered against her lips. 

"I love you, too," Annie whispered back. "More than anything."

The ceremony ended, but the fiddler from District Twelve started up the music and people began to dance. There was a certain lightness in the air. People were happy and carefree, dancing and laughing and having a good time. 

Finnick never let go of Annie's hand. They danced with the crowd and tapped their feet to the rhythm of everyone's clapping. Soon, the crowd stepped away, leaving them alone on the dance floor. 

The fiddler began to play a traditional District Four wedding song. Annie beamed as they began the dance. The cheers and clapping faded into the background and all Finnick could see was Annie, and her smile, and her beautiful eyes sparkling. 

Their bodies moved as one entity. They were united now, as one heart, soul, mind, and body. Finnick knew that they had been united for a long time, but it felt good to make things official. 

They left the dance floor and sat down, seeking a moment of quiet and rest. Finnick watched as Katniss danced with her sister, and Johanna stood sullenly alone. He waved her over, and she joined them with reluctance. 

"Congrats on getting hitched," Johanna said dryly. Her hair had only begun to grow back and she still looked too thin, but she didn't look as bad as she did when she arrived. "This is a big day for you."

Finnick gave her a quizzical look. "You don't sound too happy, Jo."

Johanna sighed. "No, I mean it. Besides, it's a nice 'fuck you' to Snow. He didn't want you to get married, and now here you are. Married."

"Here we are," Annie smiled softly and took Finnick's hand. "It's nice to see you, Johanna."

Johanna gave her a small smile. "You too, Cresta. Or is it Odair now?"

"Odair," Annie answered without thought. "It's Odair now."

Finnick felt his heart swell. It was Odair now. They were married. It was almost too much to fathom. Years of being torn apart, hiding their relationship, and now their wedding had been filmed and would be aired all over the country. Johanna was right. It was a nice 'fuck you' to Snow, but it was more than that. 

It was what he'd been waiting for since he realized he loved her. 

It was only a moment later that the cake was rolled out. It was beautiful; decorated in blue ocean waves with fish and sailboats. For almost everyone in the room, it was their first sweet thing in a long time. 

"Damn." Johanna let out a low whistle.

"This'll go nicely with your sugar addiction, Finn," Annie said playfully. Finnick laughed and gave her a gentle shove. 

The cake was delicious, and everyone had a slice. It was interesting to see how the festivities transformed the people of Thirteen. The dancing, the music, the cake. Everyone looked livelier and happy. 

When Finnick kissed Annie again, her lips were sweet from the cake, and Finnick was certain it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. 


	7. Chapter 7

"You don't have to go," Annie said, her hand resting on his chest as they laid in bed. "We could just stay here, forever."

Finnick laughed. "As much as I'd like to stay in your arms," he pressed a kiss to her lips, "I have a meeting in Command. Probably for a propo or something. I'll be back soon."

Annie sighed. "I know." A small smile tugged at her lips. "You haven't let me down yet."

"Did you expect me to?" Finnick asked, raising his eyebrows. 

"No. I trust you." The words were spoken with a level of content certainty that Finnick loved hearing from her. 

"I'll be back," he said as he stood up. Leaning down to kiss her again, he said, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Annie replied with a smile. "Now, get to your meeting before you're late!"

Finnick gave her a quick wave then exited his compartment. The walk to Command was fairly short and he made it there in a matter of minutes. Coin and Plutarch were both there when he arrived. 

"Mr. Odair," Coin greeted smoothly. "Thank you for joining us."

"What's this about?" Finnick asked, not mincing words. If Thirteen could go without charm, then so could he. 

"We're sending a team of soldiers to the Capitol in one month, and we want you on that team," Coin explained. "You'll have to go through training, of course, but it shouldn't be too difficult for you, given your past achievements."

"You want me to become a soldier?" Finnick asked. 

"It'll look good on camera, too," Plutarch supplied. "Seeing Finnick Odair in action would make an excellent propo. And, you're a victor, which makes it even more symbolic."

Finnick paused. If he had training to occupy his time, that was less time spent with Annie. "I can't leave Annie."

A flicker of annoyance crossed Coin's face before she spoke up again. "Not to worry. The mission will be for propaganda purposes, and any combat you engage in will be monitored and controlled. This mission poses very little risk. With proper training combined with your natural skill in combat, I see no reason why you would be unable to return to your wife."

"The training is in the morning," Plutarch said. "So you could still eat lunch and dinner together."

"You said it would look good for a victor to be taking down the Capitol. What about Johanna? Katniss? Will they be coming?"

Coin shook her head. "Miss Mason and Miss Everdeen are not in the condition to properly go through training and take part in the mission."

Finnick frowned. Sensing his uncertainty, Plutarch worked to convince him. "You of all people should be excited about this, Finnick. It's your chance to go to the Capitol and personally take down Snow. Besides, the soldiers from Thirteen are well equipped and trained, but none of them know the Capitol streets like you do. We could use someone like you on the team."

"It would be your personal way of fighting for a better future in Panem," Coin said. Finnick considered it. 

"Fine. I'll do it."

Coin gave him a satisfied smile. "I'm glad to hear it. We'll see you for training in two days, Soldier Odair."

* * *

Finnick told Annie as soon as he got back from the meeting in Command. "We're going to the Capitol in a month," he finished. "I have to do this. And Coin said the mission isn't very risky, so you don't have to worry about that."

Annie laughed dryly. "I'll worry anyway."

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her. "I know. But this is my chance to take down Snow." He didn't say _to win._ There was no winning in games like these. 

"I understand," Annie said softly. Of course she did; Annie knew him better than anyone. She wouldn't deny him the chance to kill Snow. "I don't like it, but I understand."

"I'll come back to you," he promised. Annie just laughed, her voice thick from tears that had started to slip out. 

"I know you'll do your best." A long pause went by before she said, "But I want you to know that if you are away for a while, or if you," her voice wavered and cracked slightly, "don't make it, I can take it. I can handle it."

Finnick felt like crying. He didn't want to talk about leaving Annie behind, alone. "I know you could. But I'll do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't come to that. I won't leave you alone."

Annie smiled shakily. "You wouldn't be leaving me alone. I've got a piece of you in my heart and I carry it with me everywhere."

"You amaze me, you know that?" Finnick laughed. And it was true. Her unwavering strength and sensitivity and kindness and courage. 

"I should hope so," Annie replied seriously. "You did marry me."

"Best day of my life," Finnick breathed as he pulled her in for a kiss. They made it to the bed, and found home in each others' arms. 

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Finnick threw himself into training. He would wake up early every day, kiss Annie goodbye, then work for hours on physical endurance, combat training, assembling rifles, and following orders. 

And every day he would drag his aching body back to his compartment, get ready for lunch, then go to the dining hall with Annie. The food was mediocre but it was the company that made it one of the highlights of his day. 

He sat at a table one day with Annie, Johanna, and Delly Cartwright, a girl from Twelve. He was using one hand to eat and the other to hold Annie's hand. Katniss and Gale joined them a moment later.

Everyone was in a better mood than usual because they were serving a hearty beef stew for lunch. Finnick was particularly grateful for the extra sustenance, especially after weeks of training. 

"I was just on the beach one day," Finnick grinned as he told a story about back home. "And I was right by the shoreline, so when I accidentally dropped my hat, a sea turtle came right up and swam away with it! So, I had to swim in after it to get my hat back!"

"That's not true!" Annie said through peals of laughter. "As I recall, you never got your hat back because the turtle was gone before you could swim after it."

Finnick smiled. "Ah, well, we'll just have to agree to disagree." Annie rolled her eyes and gave him a playful shove. 

They were all engrossed in the meal and stories that nobody noticed Peeta approach the table. 

"Peeta!" Delly said with enthusiasm. "It's so nice to see you out...and about."

Peeta glanced awkwardly at the group. Two guards stand on either side, and his tray was balanced precariously on his fingertips, as his wrists were bound by shackles. 

"What's with the fancy bracelets?" Johanna asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. 

"I'm not quite trustworthy yet," Peeta replied. "I can't even sit here without your permission."

To his surprise, Johanna said, "Sure he can sit here. We're old friends." Peeta sat down next to her. "Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol," she continued crudely. "We're very familiar with each others' screams."

Finnick's hand grew cold as Annie let go of it and covered her ears. Her body tensed beside him. Finnick shot Johanna an angry look then turned to Annie, talking softly. "It's okay, you're safe. I'm here and I love you."

"What? My head doctor says I'm not supposed to censor my thoughts. It's part of my therapy," Johanna said defensively. 

Finnick murmured words to Annie, coaxing her to remove her hands from her ears. She did, eventually, and a long silence enveloped the table. His hand was back in hers. 

"Annie," Delly said, trying to diffuse the tension. "Did you know it was Peeta who decorated your wedding cake? Back home, his family ran the bakery and he did all the icing."

Annie gave a cautious smile. "Thank you, Peeta. It was beautiful."

"My pleasure, Annie," Peeta smiled gently, a hint of his old self in his expression. 

"If we're going to fit in that walk, we better go," Finnick told Annie. She nodded and they stood up. "Good seeing you, Peeta."

"You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you." The words were teasing but his tone was threatening. Finnick's grip on Annie's hand tightened slightly. He was off-put by the idea that Annie was something of a prize to be taken, that Annie would leave him, and that Peeta would threaten him in the first place. He didn't know what the Capitol had done to him, but this wasn't Peeta Mellark. 

"Oh, Peeta. Don't make me sorry I restarted your heart."

They made their way outside for the walk, but Annie still looked troubled. "You alright?"

Annie nodded shakily. "Yeah, I'm fine. It was just hard...seeing him like that."

"The old Peeta's still in there somewhere," Finnick said, attempting to assure both of them. "He'll be alright."

"I hope so," Annie said softly, and they left it at that. 

When they finally made it outside, Finnick and Annie walked to the nearby river. It wasn't an ocean by any means, but it was as close as they could get. They took off their shoes and rolled up their pants, standing in the river and letting the water wash gently over their feet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: dialogue from scenes with Katniss in them was taken directly from Mockingjay and doesn't belong to me.


	8. Chapter 8

The weeks of training pass both excruciatingly slowly and far too quick for Finnick's comfort. As the mission in the Capitol grew closer, Finnick was required to take the final training exam that would determine if he went to the Capitol and what squad he was on. 

He wasn't too worried. The physical activity came easily to him. He hadn't dealt with a rifle before, but taking down Peacekeepers with it wasn't difficult either. Finnick flew through the first part of the exam with relative ease. 

The final part, however, was a simulation in which they use your greatest weakness against you, to see if you're capable of getting over it and getting your job done. 

Finnick didn't need to speculate about what his greatest weakness was. 

The simulation was a Capitol street, and his goal was to meet up with the rest of his squad. He was nearly a quarter of the way there when he heard her voice. 

Annie's screams had now become disgustingly familiar to his ears. His body tensed, his legs poised to run in the direction of the sound. His heartbeat was erratic, and for a moment, Finnick was concerned that it might fly right out of his chest. It was his instinct to run, to help her. But that wasn't his instruction. 

_It's not real._ That was what he told himself. 

_Not real._

Though his hands were shaking and Finnick felt like throwing up, he made it through. A soldier gave him a small smile and stamped his hand. 

"Congratulations, Soldier Odair. Please report to Command."

Finnick walked to Command on shaky legs, taking deep breaths to ground himself. It was okay, Annie was safe in their compartment. He took one last deep breath before approaching Command. 

Boggs told him to join a group of soldiers lined up at the wall. He didn't know anybody, because most of the soldiers were Thirteen natives, but he recognized Katniss' cousin, Gale Hawthorne. 

Katniss joined them a moment later looking giddy but attempting to restrain herself. Finnick was relieved to have at least one friend on the team.

Plutarch began to explain what they would encounter in the Capitol, but Finnick didn't pay much attention. He knew what Capitol mutts looked like. He knew what their arenas consisted of. And by the sound of it, this was no different. 

Plutarch pulled up a holograph. "This, for example, is the area surrounding one of the Peacekeepers' barracks. Not unimportant, but not the most crucial of targets, and yet look." Lights flashed as Plutarch entered something on a keyboard. "Each light is called a pod. It represents a different obstacle, the nature of which could be anything from a bomb to a band of mutts. Make no mistake, whatever it contains is designed to either trap or kill you. Some have been in place since the Dark Days, others developed over the years. To be honest, I created a fair number myself. This program, which one of our people absconded with when we left the Capitol, is our most recent information. They don't know we have it. But even so, it's likely that new pods have been activated in the last few months. This is what you will face."

Finnick gazed at the hologram, littered with pods. Katniss was doing the same. The other soldiers couldn't see it, but there was no mistaking what it resembled. 

"Ladies and gentlemen..." Finnick stood next to Katniss, knowing she would see what he saw. His voice was soft, but hers was loud and clear. 

"Let the Seventy-Sixth Hunger Games begin!"

After a pause, Katniss said, "I don't even know why you bothered to put Finnick and me through training, Plutarch."

Grinning, he added, "Yeah, we're already the two best-equipped soldiers you have."

Plutarch dismissed them with a wave. "Do not think that fact escapes me. Now, back in line, Soldiers Odair and Everdeen. I have a presentation to finish."

They retreated back to their places, and Finnick watched intently during the rest of the meeting. When they were dismissed, he and Katniss reconvened in the hallway. 

"What will I tell Annie?" he asked softly. 

"Nothing," Katniss answered. "That's what my mother and sister will be hearing from me."

"If she sees that holograph—" 

"She won't," Katniss interrupted. "It's classified information. It must be. Anyway, it's not like an actual Games. Any number of people will survive. We're just overreacting because—well, you know why. You still want to go, don't you?"

"Of course. I want to destroy Snow as much as you do."

Katniss nodded. "It won't be like the others. This time, Snow will be a player, too."

The thought was strangely exhilarating. Finnick had been playing the game for so long in the Capitol, but there was one key element removed: he wasn't allowed to fight back. He knew how to handle an arena, but this time, Snow would get the full effect of their retribution. 

Before they could say anything else, Haymitch appeared. "Johanna's back in the hospital."

"Is she hurt?" Katniss asked. "What happened?"

Johanna had been through training, too, Finnick remembered. He had assumed she passed her exam and was assigned to a different squad. 

"It was while she were on the Block. They try to ferret out a soldier's potential weaknesses. So they flooded the street," Haymitch replied. 

That didn't make sense. Johanna could swim. She swam during the Quarter Quell. She wasn't the strongest swimmer, but she could keep her head above water, and it certainly wasn't a reason to flood the street during her exam. 

"So?" Katniss asked, apparently just as confused as he was. 

"That's how they tortured her in the Capitol. Soaked her and then used electric shocks. In the Block she had some kind of flashback. Panicked, she didn't know where she was. She's back under sedation."

Finnick felt slightly sick, his breakfast from that morning threatening to come back up. It all made sense now, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know the specifics. 

"You two should go see her. You're as close to friends as she's got," Haymitch said. Finnick silently agreed. "I better go tell Plutarch. He won't be happy. He wants as many victors as possible for cameras to follow in the Capitol. Thinks it makes for better television."

"Are you and Beetee going?" Katniss asked. 

"As many young and attractive victors as possible," Haymitch amended. "So, no. We'll be here."

As soon as Haymitch left, Finnick went directly down to the hospital, leaving Katniss in the hallway. He could imagine how Johanna may have been feeling.

He arrived at her room within minutes, letting himself in. She was groggy and looked frail in the bed, and Finnick frowned. 

"Odair," she greeted softly. "Come to apologize for another thing that isn't your damn fault?"

Finnick laughed weakly. "You know me well, Jo."

"You're predictable, that's what," Johanna huffed. "So, you're going to the Capitol. You get to take down Snow. That's gotta feel good."

"It'd feel better if you could come," he said honestly. "It's easier to fight in the arena when you've got an ally covering your back."

"So that's what I am to you. An ally." There was contempt in her voice but Finnick could tell she was smiling. 

"Among other things," Finnick confirmed softly. 

Johanna gave a weak laugh and leaned back on her pillows. "Seriously, though, Finnick. Don't do anything stupid."

"Me?" Finnick asked in mock horror. "Doing something stupid? No, that doesn't sound realistic at all."

"I mean it," Johanna said, her eyes serious. "Don't go around doing that self-sacrificing shit. You've got a wife back here now."

Finnick tensed. "I know. And I'll do everything I can to make it back, I promise."

Johanna nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Good. Then you also promise to fuck up the Capitol in my place, okay? Give them hell."

"I will," he smiled. "But can you promise me something?"

Johanna rolled her eyes. "So demanding. I guess so."

A beat of silence passed before Finnick spoke up again. "Will you take care of Annie? If I don't make it. Don't let her give up."

"Finnick," Johanna laughed. "For all the shit she gets about being crazy, your wife is one strong woman. We both know she can take care of herself. But, yes. I'll look out for her."

Finnick couldn't ignore the swell of gratitude that rose in his chest. "Thank you." He turned to walk out the door, but Johanna stopped him. 

"Finnick." Her eyes were misty. Inhaling deeply she said, "Thank you. For everything."

Finnick gave her an easy smile. "That's what friends are for, isn't it?"

A few tears slipped from her eyes. "If you tell anyone about this, I'll deny it."

"I know you will."

Finnick lingered in the doorway a moment longer. Johanna gave him one last smirk. 

"Stay alive, Finnick."

His gaze fixated on her, Finnick nodded solemnly. "You too, Johanna."

They didn't say goodbye. There was no need. That was just how it worked between the two of them. There wasn't a need to say everything aloud; some things were better unspoken yet understood.

That was what Finnick and Johanna did, after all. They understood each other.

* * *

The morning that the squad was due to leave was difficult for Finnick. Plutarch had told them that their main roles were related to propos and the cameras; that their purpose wasn't to directly fight but to boost morale. Still, despite the fact that the mission was supposed to be easy and relatively safe, nothing could stop from giving Annie a proper goodbye. 

Not goodbye, exactly. More like a _see you later._

"And you'll be safe?" Annie pressed. 

"I'll be safe," Finnick promised gently. She didn't need to know about the pods and the bombs and the mutts. It would do her no good. 

They were in their compartment, arms wrapped around each other. Finnick felt the curve of her waist and the small of her back. Their hands wandered and they touched, memorizing each others' bodies as to not forget what it felt like to be together. 

"It's just a propo," Annie said softly, probably reassuring herself. Looking at Finnick, she said, "Come back to me."

"I will," he said as into her hair. "I promise."

"I'll never stop loving you, you know," Annie muttered. "Even if you die. I'll never stop."

"Neither will I. I'll love you through my last breath."

Annie smiled shakily. "Which will be in sixty years, after we've gone home and had children and grandchildren. You've got to come back, Finn. You have so much waiting for you here."

Finnick nodded and held her close. "I know. I'll do my best, if you promise me one thing."

"Anything," Annie responded immediately. 

"Keep living for me. When I'm away, keep moving forward. I'm with you always, even if I'm not physically there. And if I don't make it out, I need your word that you won't give up." The sentiment echoed his departure for the Quarter Quell. And, in reality, the situations weren't all that different. 

Annie let out a choked sob. "I promise. But you still better come back."

"I love you," Finnick said, although there wasn't much need. They were certain of their love for each other. 

"I love you, too," Annie replied instinctively. She pressed a kiss to his lips, which he returned. 

Finnick boarded the hovercraft with his old rope bracelet and Annie's kiss still lingering on his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: dialogue from scenes with Katniss in them was taken directly from Mockingjay and doesn't belong to me.


	9. Chapter 9

The first few days in the Capitol were largely for show. They squad spent most of their time shooting at things for the cameras, and while Finnick had plenty of experience looking good for the cameras, he wanted to do some real fighting. 

He wasn't the only one getting restless. Katniss, he could tell, wanted to do more as well. Most of the squad was bored, and the propos were repetitive. 

Apparently Coin thought so too, because she sent a new member to join them. 

"It won't matter," Peeta said as the others resisted. "The president assigned me herself. She decided the propos needed some heating up."

Finnick glanced at Katniss, whose jaw was clenched and shoulders tense. Peeta had no guards, no shackles; as though he hadn't been altered by the Capitol at all. 

President Coin wasn't careless. She was like Snow in that respect, actually. Every move was calculated, deliberate, controlled. There was no way she would have sent Peeta to join their squad with Katniss on it on accident. Either she believed he was all better and would pose no risk, or she knew exactly what Peeta was capable of and sent him on purpose. 

And Finnick was willing to bet it was the latter. 

Katniss had, after all, done her part as the Mockingjay. Her passion and propos had united the districts and had gotten them fighting, but that was done. Her part was over. 

What better way to add more fuel to the fire than to give the districts a martyr?

* * *

"I'll add that to the list of words I use to try to figure you out."

Finnick was roused from sleep by hearing Katniss and Peeta's conversation. The day had been tense with Peeta there, and the rest of the squad was sleeping, or pretending to. 

"The problem is, I can't tell what's real anymore, and what's made up." Peeta's voice sounded distressed. 

"Then you should ask, Peeta. That's what Annie does." He made no move to sit up, only contributing to the conversation from his bed. 

"Ask who?" Peeta asked, his voice raising in volume. "Who can I trust?"

Jackson's voice came from beside Katniss. "Well, us for starters. We're your squad."

"You're my guards."

"That, too," Jackson said. "But you saved a lot of lives in Thirteen. It's not the kind of thing we forget."

A long silence stretched on. Finnick knew he likely wouldn't be getting any more sleep. He tried to imagine if it were Annie who was hijacked to hate him. He couldn't. Their love was so constant, so certain, that it was impossible to imagine it not being there. It was as easy and natural as breathing with her. If him and Annie didn't have each other, Finnick knew he'd be drowning. 

"Your favorite color," Peeta spoke up after a while. "It's green?"

"That's right," Katniss confirmed. "And yours is orange."

"Orange?" Peeta asked, sounding skeptical. 

"Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset." A beat of silence passed. "At least, that's what you told me once."

"Oh." Another pause. "Thank you."

But Katniss didn't stop. "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces."

No other words passed between them, because Katniss stood up and walked out.

Peeta's questions led to the development of a game, "Real or Not Real" in which Katniss, Gale, and Finnick confirmed or denied details of his life that he's confused about. 

The next night, Finnick was keeping watch with Peeta. Because of his involvement in the Games, Peeta asked him any questions about the arena, which Finnick was fine to clear up. 

"On our Victory Tour," Peeta began slowly, "when we stopped in Four. We didn't see you, did we?"

"Real," Finnick nodded. "Snow probably didn't want you or Katniss to have much contact with the other victors in case you got any treasonous ideas, so I was instructed to stay away."

Peeta nodded, taking in the information. "What about at the tribute parade, when you and Katniss talked? She wasn't...flirting with you, was she?"

Finnick laughed softly and shook his head. "No. Quite the opposite. I don't think she was very fond of me at first. She was skeptical."

"Because you were a Career," Peeta said. "And so close to the Capitol. She didn't trust you until you restarted my heart."

"I think that's true," Finnick replied. 

"I saw your propo," Peeta said suddenly. "The one you made the night of our rescue. Would Snow have done that to us?"

Finnick took a deep, careful breath. "You and Katniss got off really lucky because of your romance. People wouldn't have wanted to split you apart, and if they did, it would have only been a few people. Anyway, I don't think you would've had to worry about that. Knowing Katniss, she'd take the fall for you. She really cares about you, you know."

Peeta gave him a wry smile. "That's what everyone keeps telling me."

* * *

According to Coin, their propos so far had been very dull and uninspiring. And, according to Coin, the way to remedy that was to film a very complicated propo. The street they were filming on even had a few active pods on it. 

It was all supposed to be staged. In fact, it all was staged to the point where reenacting falls and grimacing for the cameras felt so ridiculous that they were all laughing by the end. 

"Pull it together, Four-Five-One," Boggs said, suppressing a smile. 

It was all staged until Boggs stepped backwards, and his legs were blown off. 

Through the screams and the blood and the smoke, Finnick could make out Boggs transferring the Holo to Katniss. Everyone was so frantic and preoccupied that Finnick was the only one who noticed a black, tar-like substance that started seeping into the street. It was impossible to move through, so there was no coming back the way they came. 

More bombs rained down, and Finnick saw Peeta lose it, trying to attack Katniss. He wanted to help restrain him, but he was too far away. Mitchell, instead, was the one who got to Peeta and tackled him. Peeta pushed Mitchell off and straight into a pod. 

They made it, eventually, to a Capitol apartment building. The squad collapsed on the marble floor of the kitchen, injured and exhausted. They had brought Boggs with them, but he was going quickly. Boggs whispered something to Katniss before he died.

Katniss tried to make up a convincing story about why Boggs gave her control of the Holo. "I'm on a special mission from President Coin. I think Boggs was the only one who knew about it."

Jackson narrowed her eyes. "To do what?"

"To assassinate President Snow before the loss of life from this war makes our population unsustainable."

Tensions were high as guns were pointed, but Cressida came to Katniss' defense, backing up her story. 

"We have to go!" Gale said, ending the conversation. "I'm following Katniss. If you don't want to, head back to camp. But let's move!"

"Boggs?" Leeg 1 asked. 

"We can't take him. He'd understand," Finnick said. He picked up Boggs' gun and glanced at Katniss. "Lead on, Soldier Everdeen."

They walked for a while through the black gel, managing to find refuge in a different Capitol apartment. Finnick took a moment to glance around at the squad. Peeta was still unconscious, laid out on a sofa. They all looked injured and exhausted, covered in dirt and blood and the black gel. 

They could take refuge here for a little while, but Finnick wondered how long it would be before they had to clean up and start moving again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: dialogue from scenes with Katniss in them was taken directly from Mockingjay and doesn't belong to me.
> 
> I'm sorry if this part seemed skimmed over or paced strangely in certain areas. Truthfully, I could have done better, but I don't like reading (or writing) fast paced action scenes like the final chapters of Mockingjay. I find them difficult to follow and overall don't enjoy them very much. However there will only be one more chapter of this mess before the epilogue, so just hold on until then. Again I apologize for this poorer quality but we're almost done, so thanks so much for reading.


	10. Chapter 10

The Capitol television flickered to life and Finnick tensed instinctively. 

"It's all right!" Cressida said at everyone's wary expressions. "It's just an emergency broadcast. Every Capitol television is automatically activated for it."

The broadcast showed footage of them, just an hour earlier, in the streets, fighting off the pods. The feed cut to a reporter who pronounced the entire squad dead. 

"Finally, a bit of luck," Homes said. 

And it was lucky, because it meant that the Capitol would stop pursuing them, at least until they attempted to dig up the bodies and found none. But Finnick couldn't help but think of Annie back in Thirteen. Did she see the broadcast and believe him to be dead? Was she grieving, in pain? It was a stroke of luck, he knew, but that didn't stop the worry from settling on his shoulders.

There was silence while the broadcast was playing. Gale was the first one to speak up. "So, now that we're dead, what's our next move?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Peeta's voice carried from the couch. Heads turned, surprised that he had woken up so soon. "Our next move...is to kill me."

A beat of shocked silence passed before Jackson said, "Don't be ridiculous."

"I just murdered a member of our squad!" Peeta raised his voice. 

"You pushed him off you. You couldn't have known he would trigger the net at that exact spot," Finnick said gently. 

"Who cares? He's dead, isn't he?" Distressed tears began to run down his face. "I didn't know. I've never seen myself like that before. Katniss is right. I'm the monster. I'm the mutt. I'm the one Snow has turned into a weapon!"

"It's not your fault, Peeta," Finnick said. He knew what it was like to be damaged by the Capitol, after all.

"You can't take me with you. It's only a matter of time before I kill someone else. Maybe you think it's kinder to just dump me somewhere. Let me take my chances. But that's the same thing as handing me over to the Capitol. Do you think you'd be doing me a favor by sending me back to Snow?"

Finnick glanced at Katniss. She looked sick at the thought of Peeta in Snow's hands again, and he felt the same. 

"I'll kill you before that happens," Gale said. "I promise." In any other situation, the promise of death would have been the opposite of reassuring. But now, it was a comfort, a chance for a reprieve. Besides, any victor knew that there were things to endure that were worse than death.

Peeta paused, considering it. "It's no good. What if you're not there to do it? I want one of those poison pills like the rest of you have."

The rebel soldiers had been given a nightlock pill in case of capture. It would kill you in seconds, painlessly, so you could avoid getting sent back to Snow. Apparently, Peeta had never gotten one. Finnick didn't need to wonder why that was. 

"It's not about you," Katniss snapped. "We're on a mission. And you're necessary to it." She glanced around at the other squad members. "Think we might find some food here?"

They made a meal of canned stew and cream-filled cookies before the television was activated again. Their faces showed up, and then Snow was on screen. Finnick felt his fists clench as he was, for a moment, brought back to those meetings as a teenager, scared for his family and threatened by Snow. 

This time, however, Snow wasn't talking about him. He was congratulating his Peacekeepers on a job well done, getting rid of the Mockingjay. He sold her as an unstable teenage girl with a talent with a bow and arrow. 

The broadcast cut to President Coin a moment later. She praised Katniss on surviving, selling the Mockingjay as a heroine who united a country despite the odds stacked against her. "Dead or alive, Katniss Everdeen will remain the face of this rebellion. If you ever waver in your resolve, think of the Mockingjay, and in her you will find the strength you need to rid Panem of its oppressors."

The statement was polished and calculated, and it wasn't difficult to tell that it was what Coin had wanted all along. 

"I had no idea how much I meant to her," Katniss smiled slightly and the others laughed.

The broadcast turned back to Snow, who said, "Tomorrow morning, when we pull Katniss Everdeen's body from the ashes, we will see exactly who the Mockingjay is. A dead girl who could save no one, not even herself." Then it was over.

"Except that you won't find her," Finnick said softly to the blank screen. 

"We can get a head start on them, at least," Katniss said tiredly. "Any ideas?"

They ruled out the streets and the rooftops as possibilities. They talked for a few minutes before Jackson said, "So, we can't stay put. We can't move up. We can't move laterally. I think that just leaves one option."

Gale voiced all of their thoughts. "Underground."

* * *

They made their way into a series of underground tunnels called the Transfer, as it was used to transfer goods around the city. Pollux, and Avox, proved to be a very useful navigator, as he worked in the very same tunnels before the war. 

Much to Finnick's relief, they found a small control room to rest in. He didn't have first watch, so he lowered his tired body onto the floor and let his eyes drop closed, falling into a restless sleep. 

He dreamed of Annie. Her eyes were bright and happy, and the ocean waves crashed upon the shore in the background. A gentle breeze made her hair blow slightly and she smiled again. 

_Finnick,_ she was saying. _I love you._

His lips moved to form her name, but before any sound could come out, he heard a different name instead. 

_"Katniss."_

Finnick woke with a start. His body moved groggily at first as he sat up and looked around, already alert. It wasn't a human making that sound, so that only left one other option. 

"Whatever it is, it's after me," Katniss was saying. "It might be a good time to split up."

The group murmured in protest at that. Nobody was willing to desert the mission now. And nobody wanted to leave Katniss. They left the room, the hissing becoming louder and clearer. Another noise joined the hissing; guttural screams that could've only belonged to Avoxes. 

"They'll probably kill anyone," Gale said after some discussion. "It's just that they won't stop until they get to her."

"Let me go on alone. Lead them off. I'll transfer the Holo to Jackson. The rest of you can finish the mission," Katniss said gravely. 

"No one's going to agree to that!" Jackson said, and she was right. 

"We're wasting time!" Finnick said urgently. The hissing was getting closer.

"Listen," Peeta said softly. The screams had stopped, and Katniss' name reverberated against the walls. 

A fragrant odor filled the air. It made Finnick's chest tighten with panic and he knew exactly what it was. He could recognize the smell of Snow's roses anywhere. Katniss seemed to recognize it as well, because she looked as though she was about to throw up. 

As they ran, they lost Messalla to a pod that melted off his skin, but Peeta pushed them along. 

A squad of Peacekeepers intercepted them, and the remaining members of the squad fought them off. They didn't need to finish the job, however, because a group of white, reptile-like mutts took over, clamping on to the Peacekeepers and tearing them apart.

"This way!" Katniss called, and they all followed her. She activated another pod that should have prevented the mutts from following. 

Jackson and Leeg 1 stayed behind to hold the mutts back, and Katniss made a move to go after them, but Homes pulled her back. 

"Don't waste their lives, Katniss. It's too late for them. Look!" Homes pointed to the mutts, who had begun to advance. 

The squad began the frantic climb up a ladder, trying to escape the mutts. Finnick was the last one in line. His hands gripped the ladder but the mutts tore at him, dragging him down. He could hear Katniss screaming, wanting to go back for him. 

He wanted to tell her to go on, leave him behind, but he couldn't. All he could think and feel was the blinding pain as the mutts tore at his flesh. 

The pain abated gradually and the hissing quieted into a gentle lull. Finnick felt nothing, and he knew he was dying. Death by mutts had some irony to it. Two stints in the arena and it took this long for mutts to kill him. He would have laughed, if he could. 

But then he wasn't in the tunnel. Visions of his life flashed before his eyes. Waves, crashing over the shoreline back home. Mags smiling and ruffling his hair. And Annie, beautiful and radiant and happy. Holding her in his arms and whispering in her ear. _I love you._

He could still feel her, still taste her kiss on his lips, still hear her voice in his head. It was almost pleasant, like falling asleep next to Annie, talking until they were too tired to continue. He would say _I love you_ in her ear for as long as he could, and she would repeat it. But it was unnecessary, because they already knew that they loved each other. Their love was not fragile.

With this final thought, Finnick felt his eyes close and his body grow limp as the arms of the ocean welcomed him home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: dialogue from scenes with Katniss in them was taken directly from Mockingjay and doesn't belong to me.
> 
> Here we are, final official chapter! I'm sorry for killing Finnick, by the way. It hurt me, too, but it had to be done. Stay tuned for the epilogue, though!


	11. Epilogue

Their son had Finnick's eyes. 

Annie was glad for that. If Finnick couldn't have been there in person, at least he was there in spirit. He was with her always anyway, but she was glad that she got to keep his eyes in her life.

She was against naming their son after Finnick. She didn't want him to feel like a substitute or replica of his father. She wanted him to feel like his own person, because his identity didn't hinge on one specific detail. 

Annie called him Wade. Wade Odair. Finnick never got any input on baby names because he left for the Capitol without knowing she was pregnant. It wasn't until she knew Finnick was gone that she felt Wade shift inside her.

Annie was uncertain about a lot of things during the first few weeks after his death, but she knew one thing. Their child needed her. 

Months after the end of the war, Annie was holding their son to her chest when she heard a knock at the door. She was startled and nearly dropped the ceramic bowl she was holding, but steadied her breathing and went to answer it. 

Johanna Mason stood on the other end. Brown tufts of hair had sprouted from her scalp and she wore a slight frown. Still, she carried a single suitcase with her and said, "Hey, Cresta, I'm staying with you."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Annie surveyed Johanna slowly. They had never been particularly close, but they were two women who had gone through something unimaginable together, and that was enough. 

They didn't know each other well, but Finnick's ghost stood between them, and his presence was enough, so Annie stepped aside to let her in. 

"It's Odair," she corrected after a long pause, because she hadn't been Annie Cresta for a long time. Annie Cresta was a scared, unstable girl. Annie Odair was still scared, but she was a survivor. She was also a mother, and that mattered more.

A long silence stretched between them before Annie said, "Come in."

Johanna gave her something that passed for a smile and walked in slowly, her suitcase trailing behind her. 

"I thought you were going back to Seven," Annie said after a moment, because Johanna showed no interest in initiating conversation. 

"Yeah, so did I. Turns out, there's nothing left for me in Seven."

Annie nodded, breathing deeply. She didn't need to ask why Johanna chose Four. Her and Wade were all that was left of Finnick. Johanna was one of his closest friends. There was something of a connection between the two of them because of that. 

"That the kid?" Johanna asked, pointing to Wade, who was still resting on Annie's chest. 

"Yes," Annie said. "Wade Odair."

Johanna nodded and inhaled sharply when she caught sight of his eyes. Finnick's eyes. 

"Would you like to hold him?" Annie asked. Johanna grimaced, ready to decline, but Annie gave him to Johanna anyway. 

"He looks like Finnick."

Annie paused. It was strange hearing Finnick's name spoken aloud again. She rarely said it and nobody else really visited her. It stung a bit, even now, to hear his name but not his voice. 

"He does," Annie agreed with a gentle smile. "I don't see any of me in him so far."

"We'll see what happens when he grows up," Johanna said with a small smirk. "See if he displays any crazy tendencies."

It was harsh but Annie laughed anyway, because it was the kind of dark humor that made other people noticeably uncomfortable. 

Still, Annie didn't miss the implication that Johanna would be staying around long enough to watch Wade grow up. In a way, she was relieved. Raising a child was a hard thing to do alone, and Annie could use some support.

* * *

There were good days and bad days. Days when Annie would be struck with a wave of such debilitating misery that she wouldn't be able to get out of bed. Days where Johanna would wake up screaming from nightmares, her throat raw, but still make it downstairs to snap irritably at everything around her. 

There were good days, too. Days when everything felt normal, even happy. Watching Wade splash around in the ocean. Collecting seashells on the beach. Sitting at the dinner table, Johanna teaching Wade how to throw the food he doesn't like across the room. 

It was a strange dynamic, but Annie and Johanna had become something of a team.

Annie was grateful for Johanna's presence. It was nice to have somebody else in the house, and it would be good for Wade to interact with other people besides her. 

She was using some time while Johanna was watching Wade to clean the house. It was the house she had lived in with Finnick and Mags before the Quarter Quell. She was hesitant in returning, but no other house felt quite like home the way this one did.

Besides, this was one of the last places where Finnick was happy, and that meant a lot. 

Annie was dusting off a bookshelf in the living room when something caught her eye. It was a small piece of paper tucked behind the bookshelf. Her breath hitched as she unfolded the paper with trembling hands. 

It was a note. One of the hundreds of notes Finnick had written for her to read during the Quell. Annie thought she had found them all, but she was wrong. 

_Annie,_ the note began. She loved the way he wrote her name. She loved the way he had said her name, too, but that didn't matter now. 

_I know that I'm not here with you right now, but I'm thinking of you all the time. I could list everything I loved about you, but that would fill up pages, which wouldn't exactly be easy to hide. And finding the notes is half the fun._

_I hope that you've been eating and sleeping. If you haven't, you should consider trying. I hear it does wonders for you health._

_Anyway, I love you more than anything. But you knew that already. Stay strong for me, I know you can. I love you._

_Yours always,  
Finnick_

Annie felt tears well up in her eyes and a sob escaped her mouth. Tears began to blot the paper and she had to put the paper safely on the bookshelf before she could collapse in on herself and cry. Sobs wracked her body and Annie knew she was being horribly loud, but she didn't care. 

She missed Finnick constantly. It was a grief that was always there, sometimes pushed aside and ignored, but always there nonetheless. Her bed felt too empty, her room felt too big without his presence to fill it up. 

In times like these, Annie felt like all she did was cry. 

Sometime later, Johanna joined her, sitting down on the floor next to Annie's trembling body. "The kid's napping."

Annie didn't respond, but she knew Johanna didn't care. She was tempted to ask if Johanna had cried over him yet. She hadn't heard or seen anything, but perhaps Johanna cried in private. 

"I haven't cried for him yet," Johanna said, voicing her thoughts. She stared straight ahead, not meeting Annie's eyes. "I keep thinking I'm going to, but nothing ever comes." The next words went unspoken. _Maybe one day I'll be strong enough to._

Annie gave a watery laugh. She cried all the time and Johanna didn't cry at all.

What a pair they made.

* * *

"Hey, Cresta," Johanna said nonchalantly over breakfast one morning.

"Odair," Annie corrected automatically. Johanna knew that Annie had taken Finnick's last name. Annie had always suspected she called her the wrong name just so Annie could correct her. Calling herself Annie Odair didn't bring Finnick back, but it sometimes helped to make her feel more connected to him. 

Johanna gave a dismissive wave. "Want to teach me to swim?"

Annie's hands paused their work on feeding Wade. Johanna had developed an aversion to water during their time in the Capitol. Surprised, she asked, "Today?"

"No, in five years," Johanna said sarcastically. "Yes, today."

Annie smiled softly as they finished breakfast and walked to the beach. It was always bittersweet, going to the beach, because she and Finnick had some of their best moments there. She never let that stop her from going, though, because she knew Finnick wouldn't want his memory to taint such a special place. He'd want her to enjoy going there, so she did.

Wade, as many District Four children did, loved the beach. Annie let him splash happily at the shoreline while she took Johanna's hand and led her into the water.

Johanna gripped her hand hard, her face going pale. 

"It's okay," Annie said gently. "It's warm, see?"

Johanna released a shaky breath. "You really do this for fun in Four?"

"Not exactly," Annie said lightly. "We don't really think about it. Swimming's just a part of life here."

"That's why you let your kid walk around the beach unsupervised?" 

She laughed. "He's from Four. He knows the ocean." They took a moment to glance back at Wade, who had walked into the ocean further, so the water was up to his knees. Annie wasn't worried. The water was safe. 

The Capitol had tried to take it away from her in her arena, when they broke the dam. They tried to make the water unsafe and threatening, but Annie didn't let them. She reclaimed it. And she knew Johanna could do the same. 

"Fuck," Johanna breathed as a wave rolled over them, bringing the water up temporarily to their shoulders. 

"It does that sometimes."

They stood in silence for a while. Annie felt the water embrace her, support her. Beside her, she could see Johanna, still looking pale. Her hand was still gripping on to Annie's. 

From the corner of her eye, Annie could see a few tears slide down Johanna's face. She found herself thinking, not for the first time, that they might be okay after all.

* * *

They grew. They all did. Annie and Johanna and Wade grew together, as a team, as a family. Wade grew up, as well. He learned to walk and talk and swim and by the time he was five, he was asking questions. 

"Ma," he would say, his voice still unclear with youth. "Why don't I have a dad?"

Annie's eyebrows furrowed. She paused her work on washing the dishes at the kitchen sink. "You do have a dad. But he's gone."

It didn't hurt so much to say, after five years. She still missed him every day, but Annie knew that Finnick lived on. In Wade's eyes, in the ocean waves breaking over rocks, in the bowl of sugar cubes she always kept on the counter. Finnick wasn't there physically, but he would always be a part of their home. 

"Where did he go?" Wade asked from his place at the table. "Did he leave us?"

"No," Annie said slowly. "He died fighting so that you could have a good life."

"So he's like a superhero?"

Annie couldn't help but smile. "Exactly."

Johanna walked in then, carrying a bag of groceries from the market. Johanna was as constant in life as Annie missing Finnick was. 

"Aunt Jo!" Wade clapped his little hands excitedly. "Did you know my dad?"

Johanna looked surprised for a moment but recovered quickly. "You bet I did. He was an asshole."

"Johanna!" 

Johanna shrugged. "Okay, sorry, but it's true. He was also a lot of other things, but I'll let your mother explain those, kid."

Wade looked at Annie expectantly. She let out a soft laugh. 

"Finnick was..." She heaved a sigh, trying to come up with a way to describe him. "He was smart and charming and sensitive. He was brave, like a superhero. He was so loving, and he cared so much. He would do anything to keep the people he loved safe." 

Before she could stop herself, more words spilled out. "He had a serious sweet tooth and took too many sugars in his tea. He loved the color blue. His favorite place was the beach. He loved seafood but didn't eat it often because he was horrible at cooking. He was a good writer and wrote me lots of notes. He always said _I love you_ before we went to sleep, so I wouldn't forget."

Tears had pricked at her eyes and Annie wiped them away hastily. 

"Are you sad, Ma?" Wade got up and wrapped his arms around his mother.

Annie shook her head. Through the tears, she said, "No, sweetheart, I'm very happy."

"But you're crying," Wade said, confused.

"Sometimes people cry when they're happy," Johanna supplied, sitting down at the table. "Remind me another time, kid, but I've got plenty of good stories about your dad."

Wade laughed, his eyes gleaming. "Can you tell them now?"

"Not now," Johanna shook her head. "Right now, you can help your Ma and I put away groceries."

"I don't want to," he pouted. 

Annie watched the scene with a smile. "Okay," she joined in. "Then I guess you wouldn't be interested in hearing about the time Finnick saved the world."

Wade's eyes widened. "No, I'll help, just tell me the story!"

"Okay," Annie laughed. "Well, it started with a boy who loved the sea."

Annie knew that Wade would want specifics later. He would want to know about the Games and the war. And, one day, Annie would tell him everything. 

Today was not that day. 

So she told him the good parts. The boy with the golden smile and the man with the golden heart. The man who was so brave and kind and loving. 

Wade could get to know the bad parts later. The nightmares and the screaming and the trauma. But right now, Annie was content just remembering the good parts. The parts of Finnick that still lived on. 

Annie watched Wade's green eyes light up, and she knew for certain then. She knew that Finnick had never really left them at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it. I'll try not to make this final note too long, but I wanted to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who read, bookmarked, left kudos, or commented. Your support means so much to me and I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. I hope you all got something out of this story. I hope it made you smile or laugh or cry or feel something. I hope you enjoyed it, I really do, because I've read amazing fanfictions before, and I would love to give that to somebody else. 
> 
> This story may be over, but let me know if you have any Finnick/Annie (or just Hunger Games in general) prompts or one-shots you'd like me to write. I'd love to give it a shot, and if I get requests, I can make a separate fic out of them. 
> 
> Once again, thanks so much for everything. It's been a pleasure writing this.


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